Vampire

There are some advantages to being an insomniac. One of the big ones that comes to mind is this: the world is a far more peaceful place at night. You can actually hear yourself think for a change. Gone are the tricked-out Hondas with the modified exhaust pipes and giant subwoofers in the trunk (I find myself wishing for a rocket-propelled grenade launcher whenever some soon-to-be-deaf jackass rolls up with his car thumping), the Harleys with their thundering twin-cam engines, the lawnmowers, the leafblowers, and the weedwackers. The little kids that are normally running around the parking lot or the swimming pool screaming at the top of their lungs have long since gone to bed, as have their oblivious parents who are usually busy chattering away on their cell phones about their sex lives or what they're having for dinner. Sometimes I think I must be mildly autistic because the world seems like a very noisy place.

Late at night is about the only time I even come close to approaching a relaxed state of mind. During the day I'm almost overwhelmed by external stimuli. I get irritated when the guy at Starbucks starts whistling while he's making lattes. The noise from the espresso machine as milk is being steamed grates on me, and the rapid grinding of a blender as a frappucino is being made sends me over the edge. I don't think this is normal, but no one will give me any Valium. So I spend my day becoming increasingly agitated until night finally falls, and the throbbing in my head begins to fade. The problem is that most of the world gets its work done during the day, and expects me to operate on its schedule as well. I'm supposed to sleep during the time I find most productive so that I can work when I feel least productive. I don't think I like that plan.

I'm not antisocial or hostile toward people and their activities (except for the idiots with the boom boom Hondas), but I do need my space and my quiet time or else I get really grouchy and start fantasizing about blowing people up. A lot of people are very loud and extroverted and live their lives for everyone to see, but that isn't me. It's not that I'm really shy or exceptionally lacking in confidence or terribly unfriendly; I just seem to live much more in my head than anywhere else, and it's not easy to get there when people around me just won't shut the fuck up.

Hmmm... maybe I am autistic.